Do you play golf? I just have started….

as a self-confessed workaholic on the way to self healing I supposed that playing golf would be perfect to force me to be more outside and move my body. “Exactly the right amount of movement for me.” I thought. Eventually it is a fact that aversion and resistance to any kind of sport or body movement are accessory symptoms of being a workaholic.

After several training lessons on save ground with my compassionate golf-practicing friends and our patient teacher, I am finally standing on the driving range: me and club No. 8. Between the old stagers I have the feeling everybody can see what a lamb I am. I try my best…. but it is really EMBAAARRASSING!

“ But why do I feel awkward?” I ask myself. “ Do I have such a low self esteem? ”

At that moment a voice inside me starts talking:

Lecture 1: You and the outside world

Did you ever realize that nobody is REALLY interested in your swing; neither the good ones nor the bad ones? Everybody is only concentrated on their own business. Although if you would swear loudly…. nobody would watch.

It’s like in real life: You spoil your energy to make an impact on others. So don’t take it personally if some people watch you while you peck with your club in the green. They are busy with their own problems and try to hide them from you.

“Hmm… that’s quite right.” and I try to ignore the outside world for a while to concentrate on my posture. I grab and wrap my fingers around the club as I have studied… I am focusing the ball…. Do a test swing…. start the up swing…. and during the backswing for a little second I am thinking about that discussion last night…….and BANG! Off the mark – another whole in the green!

And the voice’s comment?

Lecture 2:  Your Thoughts

You are thinking one thing and doing another. Why are you surprised about the results? How often you are not congruent in your thoughts and wishes and your attitudes and deeds? And later you blame others for your misfortune instead of pointing at yourself.

“Ok, ok…. I hear you…” I am thinking meekly. I take a sip from my water bottle and try again. This time I really try to have NO thoughts… I am sweating…. “An empty mind? That’s easier said than done…!”

I put my feet and the club into the right position…I clutch the club… strike out…… and suddenly: Confusion in my head! “You should NOT think! But it doesn’t work!!… ok,… calm down…..bent your knees a bit as the trainer showed you……. You look probably like an absolute idiot, but maybe it helps?…….Now try to hit the ball in the right angle.”

Finally, I had a second of No-thinking..…I made my back swing, moved my hips as I was told……….but I only moved air….OUTCH!… I missed the ball and my elbow hurts…. Of course! I was too clenched.

And what kind of lecture was that? I have an uneasy sense of it: ………….. Relax ? Let go?

Ok. I’ll try again. “All body parts in position ….. Try to turn your spinning mind off…….” . But suddenly, while I swing the club back without any extra effort, I am able to let go!…… I hear that luscious CLICK when the club hits the ball correctly. I felt so light! And it seems that an invisible power hit the ball, but not me.

That was a great shot! The ball goes far, almost 100 meter; a giant distance for a bloody beginner like me. After all:

Lecture 3: Relax and relinquish

It is again similar to real life: If we are doing things clenched and doggedly, it doesn’t work at all. And on top we are creating pain, instead of let it go and let it happen.

But don’t get me wrong. That shot was not a quantum leap!  … The following shots were embarrassing bad again…. but have to say, more and more often there was a good shot near by.

It is our subconscious. It pulls us always back to our actual mental and emotional limit. That is exactly the point where our unconscious, old beliefs are lodged and proclaim: “That’s all I am capable…”

In practicing golf and in life as well we should hit thousands of balls to reach a higher amount of  “good shots”. We should never stop trying and practicing to become better. Only then our subconscious can override our self-defined limit, because it has internalized the positive experience of all the good shots.

Don’t let others confuse you by other people’s opinion. Be centered, authentic and accept your handicap.

And avoid the most dangerous thing: Comparing yourself with others. That is the best way to become a looser, because you will always find someone who plays better than you.

Playing golf as a metaphor of life? Well, depending on the numbers of wholes, life has more than 18 to fall into ….!

I wish you a great game!

There is nothing more well than to relax in a beauty salon to browse through “HELLO” and “AHLAN”. Watching Posh’s new outfit and read about the hottest rumor about the Royal Family or other celebrities’ rotten partnerships or new lovers. I am honest: I love to indulge my secret passion!

But sometimes I slip into the shoes of those celebrities and imagine how it would feel if I would see myself in the yellow press. Reading all the nasty and acidly comments about me and my out fit, my bum, my partner, my private life or some of my statements taken totally out of context. Comments of people I never met and who don’t know me personally. What a horrible imagination!

Some days ago I was reading again in that book called THE 4 AGREEMENTS of Don Miguel Ruiz. One of the agreements he is talking about is: “Talk with awareness and be flawless with your words.”

“The word is the most mightful tool at human’s disposal. Our words have the power to create. We demonstrate our intention by words. As well as the sword has 2 blades, our words can create a great dream and on the other hand it can destroy everything around us.”

You can’t tell me that there is anybody who did not experienced the power of words! I remember once a teacher said about me that I am unmusical…. Those words hit home! Despite I had a lot of fun to play the guitar and to sing; from that moment I had those words in my system. You may suspect it: I have stopped playing guitar and singing.

Or someone feels the need to blurt out his or her opinion: “oh, look what an ugly girl!”  What do you think the girl will feel if she hears those words? Deep down in her subconscious those words will be lodged and she will grow up with that belief to be ugly.  It doesn’t make any difference whether she becomes a beautiful young woman.  The belief being ugly is already installed.

That is the spell of words she is captured in. Until one day hopefully someone comes into her life, which is able to find the right words to demonstrate her beauty and can release the spell.

“Words are like a spell. People use words brainless and capture others in a spell like black magicians.”

I remember how often I was an empty-headed manipulator to other people with my words. And if it only was that I complained about a meal or service in a restaurant. With my complaint I might induce someone to avoid that restaurant, or worse, to bring others to spread the words and more people avoid that restaurant.

But the worst is yet to come! GOSSIP. Gossip is the worst kind of misuse of your words.

You may say; “ Well, we all gossip from time to time…” Right. Still as a child we watched our parents or family members in gossip with others about others. They did not hesitate to announce their unwanted opinion about everyone. Finally we have learned that gossip is part of our normal communication.

“Gossip is like a virus cruising around in a never ending chain between all humans on that planet…”

In addition we assimilate not only gossip and words or spells of others. We assimilate also our own words. We talk permanently with ourselves: “ I am fat.” “I become old.” “I never will learn that.”…and so on.

Do you notice something? Yes. We judge ourselves! We capture ourselves in a spell. We practice black magic! And then we are surprised that we can’t loose weight or why the friendly lady in our department store offers us an anti-aging-cream, without being asked for.

It is true! Everyone is his/her own magician. We can curse others and ourselves, or we can release the spell. Next time when I take a Hello or Ahlan, I will remember and be aware what effect words can have.

I think its worth to choose our words with awareness and watch how we treat our beloved ones, others and ourselves with words. It will be interesting to see the change around us if we start to release those spells.

In addition it will keep us resistant against spells from others, because negative thoughts can only be lodged in us as long as we keep a fruitful soil for negative thoughts in our mind.

To study our daily thoughts and our words is a very interesting field and there is a proven, immediate relationship to our emotional and physical wellbeing.

There is a quote my father always had: “To talk is Silver – to remain silent is Gold.” Now finally I understand what it really means. In a nutshell, sometimes we should shut up and withstand to blurt improvidently comments.

I wish all of us to succeed. However, there is no lack of practice in our life…J